Simplify your email language

Arnaud Renoux provided advice for improving cold emails by banning ineffective phrases and simplifying communication. He outlined two frameworks for better results:

1. Avoid overused phrases

   
   Ban phrases that will make your emails sound generic and unoriginal:

• virtual coffee

• quick call

• pick your brain

• just touching base

• I’d love to...

• hope you’re well

2. Know your ideal customer profile (ICP)

   
   Understand your target audience deeply using these 7 criteria:

• Demographics (age, location, income, etc.)

• Psychographics (values, interests, lifestyle)

• Pain points and challenges

• Goals and aspirations

• Buying behavior

• Communication preferences

• Value proposition alignment

3. Use simple and concise language

   
   Write short emails (4-5 sentences max) with this simple structure:

• Observation (1 sentence)

• Problem (1 sentence)

• Credibility (1 sentence)

• Solution (1 sentence)

• Call to action (1 sentence)

Emails should be easy to read and get to the point. If you wouldn’t respond positively to your own email, rewrite it.

Teach buyers something new

Jason Bay explained that cold outreach isn’t failing because of spam filters or unresponsive prospects—it’s because your ask isn’t valuable to buyers. Here’s how to improve:

Stop self-centered asks

Avoid requests like:

⇢ “I’d like to introduce you to our company.”

⇢ “Let’s meet so you know your options.”

⇢ “Do a quick demo to re-evaluate your current contract.”

Provide something valuable

Make your offer worth the buyer’s time. Ideas include:

⇢ Experience their brand’s buying process (for B2C accounts).

⇢ Create a competitive analysis report.

⇢ Share non-obvious industry trends.

⇢ Explain how you’re helping similar companies.

⇢ Offer a free analysis like a website audit.

⇢ Teach a new approach they haven’t considered.

⇢ Give something free, like credits or a trial.

Focus on teaching or solving problems

Use your outreach to educate the buyer about a challenge they face or a problem their peers encounter. This creates a reason to meet that benefits them.

Cut email length, not impact

Troy Munson reviewed 34 cold emails and revised them to highlight common mistakes and improvements. Here’s what salespeople can do to write better emails:

1. Email length
   Keep emails between 50-80 words. Avoid lengthy explanations about your company; use one sentence to describe your impact.

2. Filler words
   Remove unnecessary phrases like "just reaching out" or "an incredible ROI." Avoid adjectives and filler words like "just," "only," or "because."

3. The use of 'I'
   Limit sentences starting with "I." Rephrase, e.g., "I’m reaching out" becomes "Reaching out."

4. Subject line length
   Stick to 2-4 words. Avoid including the recipient's name, as it looks spammy. Examples: "cloud costs" or "your research paper."

5. Call to action
   Keep it brief and specific. Use phrases like "Worth exploring?" or "Sound interesting?" instead of long sentences.

Write emails that get responses

Chelsea Castle from Lavender offers practical tips for crafting effective cold emails. Here’s a step-by-step guide to help salespeople improve their outreach.

Framework for cold emails

1. Observation: Start with personalized research to show your email is meant for them.

2. Connection: Highlight a problem they might face, based on your research.

3. Credibility: Use examples or insights to build trust and show relevance.

4. Conversation Starter: End with an easy-to-answer question that opens dialogue, not a hard sell.

Subject line tips

⇢ Keep it neutral, short, and boring (1-3 words).

⇢ Avoid verbs, punctuation, and superlatives.

⇢ Focus on clarity, e.g., "Hiring priorities" or "Nashville sales team."

Cold email body tips

• Length: Keep it under 75 words. People scan emails in seconds.

• Structure: Use short paragraphs with lots of white space for readability.

• Clarity: Write at a 3rd-5th grade level for better comprehension.

• Tone: Be friendly, casual, and professional—avoid being too formal.

• Deliverability: Avoid spam triggers (e.g., links, too many emails at once).

Personalization tips

• Research their LinkedIn, company, or recent news.

• Tie your findings to a problem your solution addresses.

• Avoid irrelevant personal facts—connect to their business challenges.

Follow-up best practices

• Send multiple follow-ups (4-5 touches).

• Respond to rejection with curiosity, e.g., “How are you solving that today?”

• Be persistent but respectful—don’t harass unresponsive prospects.

Example email

Hi [Name],
Since you’re hiring new reps in Nashville, I was curious how they’ll be managed compared to the NYC team.
Our [solution] could ease onboarding and help focus on [specific pain point].
Sound interesting, or are you hiring a local manager?

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